Today marks 15 full days in the hospital for Kevin.  We were so hopeful that the engraftment process would be swift and remarkable, however it is looking like for once Kev is going to do something at a "normal" speed. 

Three criteria need to be met prior to discharge from the hospital:
 1.  Absolute Neutrophil Count (ANC) level of at least 500.
 2.  No fevers for 24 hours
 3.  Normal vital signs and normal functional mobility. 
I asked the doc today why the ANC column was blank on his bloodwork sheet since it would be nice to gauge how close we are to that 500 mark.  She chuckled and said, "well, it's blank because he doesn't have any neutrophils." 
<sigh>
It is possible that his blood counts will begin making large leaps in the right direction, but right now they are still very low and creeping up v.e.r.y slowly every day.  The doc assured us that this is normal and he is on the right track.  They will go up.  But how quickly, no one knows for sure.  (The doc was also quick to remind us that he received two wicked rounds of DVT-PACE in March. His levels had barely recovered from those rounds when he was hit with the Melphalan). 
So there he sits.........

Some of you out there know the feeling of circumstances being LITERALLY out of your control.  There are no pills to take, no foods to eat, no physical activities to perform that will assist you in gaining any sort of control over a situation.  Where does this leave a person?
Theologian Ravi Zacharius says that the imagination draws from what the eyes focus on.  But keeping our eyes unfocused on that ANC column isn't easy....at all. 

My musings aside, Kev is doing well.  These days "well" needs a context, so I will tell you that he's getting up, showered, and dressed daily.  He was able to walk a few laps around the floor today and yesterday.  He still has a nice tan from Florida in February and his eyes are bright.  He smiles less often, but then again so do I.  He is managing his nausea and bone pain with medications that are working fairly well.  And aside from the fact that his door is busier than Grand Central Station, he is catching sleep often. 

I would like to take a moment to send out a call for prayer to anyone who knows anyone who prays.

Lord, you made neutrophils.  You are sovereign over them and over everything on this earth.  Set your works in motion to recover his blood levels and restore his health. Give our children your Holy Spirit to comfort them when they miss their daddy.  Sometimes I get mad because we didn't deserve this!  But I should be thanking you that you don't give me what I do deserve, and that you gave it to Jesus instead.  It was the ultimate unfairness, but with it you managed to merge justice with holiness.  And for that God, I will worship you.  No matter what.

Much love to everyone,
Kristin