We continue to fight on.  Due to the roller coaster ride of blood levels, Kev and I have decided that we are no longer going to put any faith and power in these numbers.  We have found that, quickly, they can become a false idol to bow down to.  So--I am no longer going to be posting specifics about blood levels, instead posting only when they pertain to a change in treatment course.

We have adjusted to living life with these GVHD symptoms, which are mostly skin changes and mild digestive issues.  We are grateful for no new skin plasmacytomas and continue to pray for the war being waged in Kev's body.

Overall, Kev is doing very well.  He is working daily, and, in general, sleeping better at night.  He continues to have some mild to moderate back pain, but he stays on top of it with the doctors.  He also continues with physical therapy to regain strength and general conditioning.  We are at the doctor only once per week, which is a nice thing.

There will be some more tests coming up to monitor the progress of the transplant and when we receive these results, I will do another post to update if there are any treatment changes.

I really just want to write a huge THANK YOU to all of you who have hung with us over this last year.  It is a work in progress for me learning how much to share and how much to withhold, and our wonderful support network has been so understanding.
I want to share with you another poem that I have written.  I share because I feel like regular words just aren't enough anymore.  If you care to read it, I hope it lets you in to my heart a little, and if you don't want to read it, that's okay too :-).

God bless you everyone,
Kristin

The Battle (by Kristin)

The battle is painfully long, the victories maddeningly insufficient.
What does your help look like during your obvious pursuit?
Surely your help will come how I will it!

Can war be waged amidst the white flag of surrender?
You expect a will to fight, but it must be fought laying down.  
Surely you cannot expect a victory!

How can I take up weapons to kill and yet be at peace with their fallibility?
For you smash my faith in these earthly weapons with a flick of your finger.
Where is your mercy?  Surely your mercy will come on my terms!

On my face in surrender, you forsake my permission and find a place within me where you do not dwell.
How long will you search me and find these hidden places?  Surely I'll tell you when you've received all of me!

How can I fight for life under the cloak of sovereignty?
Yes, I have prayed, "your will be done," and betrayed you.  
But surely I know your will!

My love is pierced with mistrust, thus you take me further into the fire.
I did not ask for such as this.  Surely this isn't a refining fire!

Oh, God, there seems not much left to me, must we do this?
I see where you want me, but, surely this is where you cannot be!

So here am I:  spent, broken, burned, searched, humbled.

And here is you, dwelling within a hackneyed clay pot lain at the bottom of the mire.

Yes, yes! 
Surely, here you are.